So lost and confused
Ever since you died, I have been so lost and confused. I am always hurting. People say it’s not the end of the world; but it feels like it is! I just feel like part of me was ripped away and I can’t find it anywhere. Every single day is so long and non-eventful that I just really don’t want to get up in the morning. If I didn’t have commitments, I would probably just lay in bed all day every day. But even with those commitments, I still feel like I don’t want to do anything! I am like a puppy who wondered off into the night and can’t find his way back home. I keep making so many wrong turns that “home” seems a million miles away. I opened the bible you gave me for Christmas right after you died. I wasn’t sure I wanted to open it when your mom gave it to me so I just left it wrapped up. I finally got the courage after 209 days to open it up. It was yours and you can still smell you on it! Which makes me miss you even more. I hate it! I don’t hate you, I hate not having you here with me. I don’t know…..maybe I’ll always just be lost and confused.
